Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
