I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
