I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
