Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
worst night to have a conscience
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
