awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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