First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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