the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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