your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
