just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
