oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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