whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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