That's intense
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
