I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
