any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
