We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
smell my finger.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Randomize
