Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
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You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
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What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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