We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize