Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
