the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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