guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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