the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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