I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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