You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
