No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
