I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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