I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
