we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
