Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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