I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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