You're completely useless in the revolution.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
