We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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