How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
