Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Randomize
