Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i dont even know how to be here
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
