I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
