when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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