I can tuck mytits in my pants
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
