Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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