I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
