I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
