Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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