Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
