tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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