My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
