How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
