I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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