Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
we made out on top of his cat.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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