WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
