We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
