I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize