oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
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