Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
