how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
When did angry sex become our thing?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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