I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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