oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Can you repeat that, but with context?
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