i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
