nutella sex= disaster
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
