what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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