Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
