Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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