New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize